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Does anyone else find it odd that one of the side effects from the "c-19 collateral damage jab" listed on a Pfizer report dated Feb 2021 is none other than "HANTAVIRUS PULMONARY INFECTION??" Then Bill Gates goes on tv and called the C-jab "the final solution" then later predicts a "Hantavirus Outbreak" in the future. We can be sure it was not a lucky guess. Fast forward to 2024 and we find that Moderna spends big $$$$ to roll out an MRNA based Hantavirus Vaccine for a "just in case we need it" scenario. Riiiight! I don't need to watch the X-files episode from years ago, the scent of rat feces is already wafting up into my nostrils about now!😏

Factscinator's avatar

🚨 Breaking News… “Just in…” 🚨

Experts at the World Hoax Organization have announced the rapid global spread of a highly contagious cognitive condition dubbed:

🦠 B.I.V.s™ — Belief In Viruses Syndrome 🧠📡

Authorities warn the condition is now circulating aggressively through alternative and lame stream media ecosystems. 📺🌍

Investigators remain uncertain about the precise origin of the outbreak. However, several superspreader networks have reportedly been identified distributing industrial scale quantities of fear porn. 🏭😱

Primary Transmission Vector:

A terrifying narrative involving a made up microscopic threat allegedly leaping from cruise ships 🚢 to television studios 📡 before engulfing the planet in synchronized panic. 🌎😨

Early symptoms of BIVS in what experts are now calling “Muppet Syndrome™” include:

📱 Obsessive doom-scrolling.

📊 Compulsive case-number monitoring.

🧪 Sudden amateur expertise in the epidemiological modelling of a FAKE “virus.”

🦭 Clapping like trained seals alongside your neighbours for the frontline “hellth” workers who were officially sanctioned to maim and murder you. 💉💦💀

Authorities insist this is merely the incubation stage. ⏳

⚠️ Complications:

In severe cases, patients may develop a psycho-social disorder known as:

🤡 Long Muppet™ — 😱

Symptoms include:

😷 Wearing multiple masks while alone on nature trails. 🌲🚶‍♂️

🧴 Sanitizing groceries, furniture, pets, and air. 🛒🛋️🐕💨

📦 Treating package deliveries like unexploded military devices. 💣

📺 Structuring entire emotional states around televised infection graphs. 📉😨

🕵️ Publicly posting: “We’re all in this together” ❤️ while anonymously reporting neighbors for illegal birthday gatherings. 🎂🚔

🧻 Panic-buying enough toilet paper to survive several generations despite the threat allegedly being respiratory. 😷🛒

📢 Sudden belief that questioning televised experts constitutes domestic extremism. 🚨

🎤 Emotional dependence on celebrity singalongs, government slogans, and interpretive TikTok dances performed by suspiciously unoccupied hospital staff. 💃🏥

🦠 Posting sermons on Substack about “spike proteins” derived from a fictitious civilization-ending microbe after prolonged exposure to CNN programming. 📡🧠

💉 Continually signing yourself — and your kids — up for endless “kill shots” while people all around drop off like flies post-jab. 🪰⚰️

🏛️ Public Health Recommendations:

✅ Maintaining a functioning sense of humor 😂

✅ Basic familiarity with the scientific method and Koch’s Postulates 🔬📚

✅ Avoiding panic-based identity formation 🧠⚠️

✅ Remembering that frightened populations are easier to manage, monetize, and digitally shepherd into the New Normal™ Digital Gulag enclosure system. 📲🚪

Please remain calm while panic is permanently normalized. 😌📡

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