To cure my anemia, I covered 10% of my skin with leeches. My anemia got worse. To rectify the situation I doubled the coverage to 20%--within two days, my hematocrit went down 26%. This morning I upped the dosage further; now 50% of my body is covered with leeches. I can barely stand, my hematocrit is 16, my pulse is 130 beats per minute, my skin is the color of Dracula's albino niece Sukula's ass, and I am typing this while lying on the floor with leech slime oozing off me. Fortunately, some more leeches are arriving by FedEx tomorrow--enough to completely cover every square inch of my body. #TrustTheScience
If (they) keep this up, a civil war is in order. Let’s hope there is enough of us willing to die on the hill for our freedom. I refuse to live my life under the Governments rule.
To cure my anemia, I covered 10% of my skin with leeches. My anemia got worse. To rectify the situation I doubled the coverage to 20%--within two days, my hematocrit went down 26%. This morning I upped the dosage further; now 50% of my body is covered with leeches. I can barely stand, my hematocrit is 16, my pulse is 130 beats per minute, my skin is the color of Dracula's albino niece Sukula's ass, and I am typing this while lying on the floor with leech slime oozing off me. Fortunately, some more leeches are arriving by FedEx tomorrow--enough to completely cover every square inch of my body. #TrustTheScience
If (they) keep this up, a civil war is in order. Let’s hope there is enough of us willing to die on the hill for our freedom. I refuse to live my life under the Governments rule.