I'm so sorry. I attended an online marriage counseling seminar a few weeks ago (even though I'm widowed, I enjoy learning how to better communicate). Terry Real is counseling that many marital arguments are really just reactions to feeling hurt and misunderstood. He advises against trying to argue who is right and who is wrong. Just describe your reactions without blame and trust your partner will love you enough so you can compromise--or at least reach a compromise. That worked for me with a provider who never showed up at the same time. He would send zoom links just before the meeting announcing a new time or canceling and rescheduling which DROVE ME CRAZY. I didn't mind the schedule changes. But I have an eye problem and moving my head from the emal section to the zoom section back and forth made me quite uncomfortable and dizzy. I asked him if he could please phone me right before he sends the zoom link (which he doesn't send out in advance because he doesn't know the time in advance having a hectic schedule) He honored my request, and now we're both fine.
BUT BUT life and death seem different. My husband was terrified of death and asked me to help him commit suicide so he could control the time of his passing when pain or disability would get too much for him to bear. I kept refusing and he kept scolding me and telling me how heartless I was. I would almost get convinced--and then he would say, look all you have to do is hold my arms down if I start thrashing due to lack of oxygen. It will soon be all over. I told him no that I would feel guilty for the rest of my living days if I had to help kill him.
Eventually he ended up in hospice. I devoted myself to caring for him. One night I did lose my temper though. He was shouting, DEATH DEATH DEATH to insist that I call a friend to help him commit suicide. I did not know thisthat my friend told Dick he would help but didn't tell me he had no intention of helping. Each time Dick would insist on suicide, the friend (what a dear friend) would say, I can't make it now--could it wait until the week end? And then there would be some other reason to postpone it.
This time I refused to call the friend and shouted back at my husband, "There will be no death (meaning suicide) for you!! You will die peacefully in your sleep. I will use morphine as the doctors showed me so that your breathing will be controlled and you won't feel any pain." I felt horribly aggressive and uncaring. But my husband stopped insisting.
Later I got the social worker and the nurse explain how death would happen. Nurse was GREAT. In a slow deep hypnotic voice he described how Dick would be getting more and more sleepy, more and more restful until he passed away peacefully in his sleep. And that's what happened. Before he passed, my husband thanked me and told me he forgave me. I'm glad. I still love him and miss him.
did he get the shots? Are you still intimate? I drew the line in the sand with mine. He would never sleep in the same bed as me ever again. He sent the religious exemption in . They denied the medical one he really did deserve to have. They waited 4 LONG months not responding to his request for a response to the RE> He is one of hte FEW employees who WAITED for a response while they continued to send out threatening letters to all employees with dates they MUST be injected by. On Jan 6 2022 they accepted his RE> Worst time of our lives together.
I like your questions. My husband passed away age just before he turned 85 in January 2017. We were both sickly people united in our hypochondria. We refused to get any flu shots, since Gary Null (nurtritionist) warned us that they were virtually useless for people our age since we don't easily make antibodies (what does that say about mRNA vaccines which rely on antibodies for their effectiveness). I'm fairly confident that he, like me, would avoid mRNA shots under any circumstances. I would sleep with a vaccinated husband, though, and persuade him to take black seed cumin oil or ivermectin to try to contain vaccine injury. I'm pretty sure that my husband would have passed away pretty quickly from the shots since he suffered from heart damage and suffered from atrial fibrillation. He also had cancer which could have been exacerbated. If a stroke or heart attack didn't get him--maybe the blood clots would. I have a dear friend now who 3 months after the shots, suffered a severe concussion from his heart stopping and 3 months later had a pacemaker placed. But it's a new model so no way to know if it's working since he fainted again. He also suffered a sudden growth of a desmoid tumor and signs of leukemia and bladder stones. His medical team is doing "watchful waiting," no one mentions vaccine injury. He says he trusts his doctors. I wish they could inspect his heart to see if his pacemaker is working as it should be. Medical devices have fewer safety requirements than vaccines and drugs. His doctor said, "I'm sure your pacemaker is working just fine. (safe and effective). Why not cut back on your blood pressure medicine? "Low blood pressure (he's guessing maybe the medicine dose could have been too high) could also cause fainting. " Where are the clinical results to support the doctor's theories? What about taking blood pressure several different times daily for a week? What if blood pressure is fine? Then do we try to measure the heart again without somehow damaging the pacemaker which is a tiny capsule that rests inside the heart. Every 10 years it may need replacement. Oh yeah? And how many of these tiny capsules can you tolerate before your heart is too small to hold them all and still pump blood. (The capsule pacemakers are never removed. You just insert another one. How do you know when it needs insertion. He says he trusts his doctor. You can take that to the bank, can't you.
what is the "d" word? Divorce?
Yes. Many fights over me choosing not to be inoculated lead to his disgust in me and my frame of thoughts and “divorce” was thrown around.
I'm so sorry. I attended an online marriage counseling seminar a few weeks ago (even though I'm widowed, I enjoy learning how to better communicate). Terry Real is counseling that many marital arguments are really just reactions to feeling hurt and misunderstood. He advises against trying to argue who is right and who is wrong. Just describe your reactions without blame and trust your partner will love you enough so you can compromise--or at least reach a compromise. That worked for me with a provider who never showed up at the same time. He would send zoom links just before the meeting announcing a new time or canceling and rescheduling which DROVE ME CRAZY. I didn't mind the schedule changes. But I have an eye problem and moving my head from the emal section to the zoom section back and forth made me quite uncomfortable and dizzy. I asked him if he could please phone me right before he sends the zoom link (which he doesn't send out in advance because he doesn't know the time in advance having a hectic schedule) He honored my request, and now we're both fine.
BUT BUT life and death seem different. My husband was terrified of death and asked me to help him commit suicide so he could control the time of his passing when pain or disability would get too much for him to bear. I kept refusing and he kept scolding me and telling me how heartless I was. I would almost get convinced--and then he would say, look all you have to do is hold my arms down if I start thrashing due to lack of oxygen. It will soon be all over. I told him no that I would feel guilty for the rest of my living days if I had to help kill him.
Eventually he ended up in hospice. I devoted myself to caring for him. One night I did lose my temper though. He was shouting, DEATH DEATH DEATH to insist that I call a friend to help him commit suicide. I did not know thisthat my friend told Dick he would help but didn't tell me he had no intention of helping. Each time Dick would insist on suicide, the friend (what a dear friend) would say, I can't make it now--could it wait until the week end? And then there would be some other reason to postpone it.
This time I refused to call the friend and shouted back at my husband, "There will be no death (meaning suicide) for you!! You will die peacefully in your sleep. I will use morphine as the doctors showed me so that your breathing will be controlled and you won't feel any pain." I felt horribly aggressive and uncaring. But my husband stopped insisting.
Later I got the social worker and the nurse explain how death would happen. Nurse was GREAT. In a slow deep hypnotic voice he described how Dick would be getting more and more sleepy, more and more restful until he passed away peacefully in his sleep. And that's what happened. Before he passed, my husband thanked me and told me he forgave me. I'm glad. I still love him and miss him.
did he get the shots? Are you still intimate? I drew the line in the sand with mine. He would never sleep in the same bed as me ever again. He sent the religious exemption in . They denied the medical one he really did deserve to have. They waited 4 LONG months not responding to his request for a response to the RE> He is one of hte FEW employees who WAITED for a response while they continued to send out threatening letters to all employees with dates they MUST be injected by. On Jan 6 2022 they accepted his RE> Worst time of our lives together.
Why did you draw the line? Weren't you both avoiding the shots? Or did he say he would agree to vaccination?
I like your questions. My husband passed away age just before he turned 85 in January 2017. We were both sickly people united in our hypochondria. We refused to get any flu shots, since Gary Null (nurtritionist) warned us that they were virtually useless for people our age since we don't easily make antibodies (what does that say about mRNA vaccines which rely on antibodies for their effectiveness). I'm fairly confident that he, like me, would avoid mRNA shots under any circumstances. I would sleep with a vaccinated husband, though, and persuade him to take black seed cumin oil or ivermectin to try to contain vaccine injury. I'm pretty sure that my husband would have passed away pretty quickly from the shots since he suffered from heart damage and suffered from atrial fibrillation. He also had cancer which could have been exacerbated. If a stroke or heart attack didn't get him--maybe the blood clots would. I have a dear friend now who 3 months after the shots, suffered a severe concussion from his heart stopping and 3 months later had a pacemaker placed. But it's a new model so no way to know if it's working since he fainted again. He also suffered a sudden growth of a desmoid tumor and signs of leukemia and bladder stones. His medical team is doing "watchful waiting," no one mentions vaccine injury. He says he trusts his doctors. I wish they could inspect his heart to see if his pacemaker is working as it should be. Medical devices have fewer safety requirements than vaccines and drugs. His doctor said, "I'm sure your pacemaker is working just fine. (safe and effective). Why not cut back on your blood pressure medicine? "Low blood pressure (he's guessing maybe the medicine dose could have been too high) could also cause fainting. " Where are the clinical results to support the doctor's theories? What about taking blood pressure several different times daily for a week? What if blood pressure is fine? Then do we try to measure the heart again without somehow damaging the pacemaker which is a tiny capsule that rests inside the heart. Every 10 years it may need replacement. Oh yeah? And how many of these tiny capsules can you tolerate before your heart is too small to hold them all and still pump blood. (The capsule pacemakers are never removed. You just insert another one. How do you know when it needs insertion. He says he trusts his doctor. You can take that to the bank, can't you.
That's really painful. I hate losing people.